


Unsaid Fears Are The Most Dangerous Ones

by Ayita35730



Series: Puzzle Pieces [3]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 10:10:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3245753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayita35730/pseuds/Ayita35730
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel and Buffy have a long coming discussion about the fears they all have in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unsaid Fears Are The Most Dangerous Ones

"Angel. We need to talk."

Angel stiffens at the serious tone of her voice and even though he knows he would have felt if something happened to Spike, he opens his mouth to ask anyway. But before he can say it Buffy holds up her hand. 

"He's fine, I just checked on him." Angel nods, relieved. Spike was nearly staked for him the other night, and the holy water was slowing his healing. Angel couldn't help but be irrational lately. Buffy smiles at him gently, and crosses the room faster than anyone should be able to in heels, pulling Angel down to sit on the couch with her. 

"Don't get freaked Angel, you know we have to talk about this to have a relationship, and since Spike doesn't do these conversations lately, if he ever would have, we have to be the mature ones alone. When we first started this you said we are all broken. We haven't talked about those issues since we got together, because the three of us are cowards and we all wanted to get on stable ground. But we need to talk about it, because we're all afraid of this relationship for different reasons and almost losing Spike made me realize we can't avoid this anymore. I love you Angel, so please lets just talk about this, okay?"

Buffy lays her hand on his, staring into his eyes intently, and despite his initial reaction to run from this discussion, Angel squeezes her hand in return and nods slowly, waiting for her to start. Her eyes flash with gratitude at his compliance and he wonders how this woman doesn't grasp he'd give her the world if asked. 

Buffy bites her lip and sighs looking down. "God this is way hard, maybe you have to worry about me having a wiggens." Angel chuckles lightly, and strokes the skin of her palm, encouraging her. 

"I- I'm terrified of you leaving me. Y-you already left me once, Riley left me..... and Spike, he d-died, so that wasn't his fault but choosing to stay away was just as bad and I know it's stupid, and I can't help it. I-It's not that I don't trust you its just that if I lost either of you, and I can't shake it and what if you get bored or-"

Angels cuts off Buffy's speech/ramble right then, leaning in to kiss her gently, and then pulls away, holding her face between his hands so gently because she is ever so precious and holds her gaze intensely. 

"Buffy Summers. I love you. It goes against my very nature but I love you so utterly it terrifies me. You are the most incredible woman I have ever known, and don't you ever think that I could bore of you, no one can get bored of you Buffy, but simply are too weak to be what you deserve. I promise you I will never walk away from you again unless you send me away, simply because I can't bear to be that selfless again. I'm here as long as you want me Buffy. The same of Spike, he adores you more than he ever adored Dru. We'll never leave your side Buffy."

Tears well in Buffy's eyes and she buries her head in his shoulder, curling into him. "Love you too." She whispers,unable to come up with a suitable response to Angel's beautiful reassurance. 

Angel strokes her hair gently for a few moments before whispering softly, his fear apparent. "I'm half waiting for one of you to be killed. It scares me more than anything. Everyone I love.... They die. Darla came back and just as I thought I could make it right she died, right in front of me. You died, you died and the last time we had fought, and it just destroyed me so completely....and Cordy.....we never even got a chance. Spike. I never even got to fix things and then he was gone, he was gone and it should have been me, and then now I have you both, and I'm so happy that if the soul still had conditions it would have gone by now, and I'm just waiting for it to be taken away. For you to be taken away."

Angel whimpers the last few words and Buffy sits up and pulls him into a tight hug, letting him feel the same comfort he was giving. 

"I can't promise nothing will happen to us. Our lives are too dangerous. But Angel, we will make every moment count, if we are going down, we're going without regrets. And now that we're all together, the chances of one of us getting taken down is very much decreased, because we will watch each others backs. We're just as scared of losing you as you are of losing us, but the whole worry-terrification thing is just something thats apart of us. I think loving you is worth the risk of losing you. I hope you think the same."

With that Buffy burrows into Angel's arms and they hold each other, just basking in the others presence for a few moments before Angel speaks again. 

"Spike, you know he doesn't believe we love him. He still thinks that we just want him for sex. His self worth, between both of us and the soul, it is at an all time low. He doesn't think anyone can love him, you know that right?" 

Buffy sighs sadly at that. "I know. That's a battle that we have to face together. He won't believe just words."

Angels mumbles an agreement and Buffy smiles weakly. "Plus the bastard seems to already know our insecurities, wouldn't be a fair discussion even if we could force him to talk about it."

Angel chuckles lightly and they both settle into a gentle silence, holding each other contently until they both drift off. 

Talking about their fears didn't make them disappear, but at least now they could face them together.


End file.
